Under One Roof
by new moonfull moon
Summary: Lili's family owns a boarding house in New York City. The residents are strange character's trying to make it to the big time. Who knew that all it took was a kidnapping and a wrong turn? AU
1. Just Another Day In Paradise

**Disclaimer: I do not own Zodiac PI or 'Is there a comic in the house?' Which acted as a guideline for this story. This applies for the entire story.**

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Chapter One: Just Another Day In Paradise

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Tap- Tappity- Tap- Tap- Tappity- Tap

With every annoying little tap of dancing shoes on the wooden floor, Lili's eye gave a little twitch. As the dancing upstairs continued her grip on the broom she was sweeping with tightened. After one particularly annoying piece she started banging on the ceiling with the handle.

"Antares, stop that racket of yours! You're diving me crazy!" Lili yelled as she continued to thump on the ceiling.

On the couch close by sat a young man around the age of eighteen. He was a nice tan color with short sandy hair and blue eyes. His sandal- clad feet were propped up on top of the table as he flipped through the channels. "It'd be a really short trip."

Lili glared at him and through the broom at his head. "Shut up, Regulus! Nobody asked you!"

"Ow!" He clutched the back of his head. "It was a joke you broom throwing harpy!"

She crossed the room and picked up the broom. She gave him one last thump on the head before turning her attention back to the ceiling where she could still hear the sound of the Flamenco dancer practicing. "I told you to stop that racket!"

This time she responded. "How dare you call my marvelous dance racket! It's an exceedingly difficult piece that I've perfected in a matter of days!"

"Yah? Well, it sounds like an elephant learning how to tap dance!" Regulus shouted from his spot. "At the rate you're going the floor's going to cave and you'll be dancing in my lap instead!"

"Shut your dirty mouth!" Antares called through the floor of her room.

A tall twenty five year old walked down the stairs and into the living room. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail Her black tank top was cornered slightly by her yellow vest. The deep red pants that she was wearing were tied by a string of blue beads at the bottom. She had on a gold necklace and a bracelet on each wrist.

When she reached the bottom she snatched the remote out of his hands and plopped down next to him. "Like any sane woman would come on to you. If she fell into your lap it'd be the most action you've ever seen."

Regulus stood up and stood in front of her. He moved up and down as he showed off. "Oh come on, Aires. You know you want me."

"The only thing I want from you is for you to get out of my way." Aires shoved him out of the way. "And I got what I wanted so go crawl back from whatever hole in the ground you came from."

"Come on baby." Regulus cooed. "Which would you rather have? Some boring TV show or the fine specimen of a man sitting next to you?"

"I'd love a fine specimen of a man but unfortunately there aren't any here so I'll settle for boring TV show." She replied.

He crossed his arms over his chest. With a wounded ego he said, "Well I'm not to sure I can trust your taste in men. After all you married that Chad guy."

"Worst. Mistake. Ever." Aires bit out every word. "He left me for some floozy he met at a bar! I should have known better that to get involved with a guy whose greatest talent was being able to belch the alphabet."

"Yeah… " Regulus agreed with her until he remembered something. "Hey! I can burp the alphabet and let me tell you it takes hard work and discipline! You have to be dedicated and it takes a lot of practice!"

Aires looked over at Lili. "I rest my case."

**-End of Chapter Notes-**

Antares/Scorpio: Trying professional dancer and resident

Regulus/Leo: Insult comedian and resident

Aries: Looking forward to her ex-husband's funeral


	2. Rock Beats Paper Every Time

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Chapter Two: Rock Beats Paper Every Time

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After a heated argument over why being able to belch the alphabet is a talent, the three moved to the dining room where they met up with Astrea and Ganymede. The couple was one of the oldest residents and have been happily married for the past seven years. They had drabbled into the fame and fortune industry with their comedy act and had saved up enough money for permanent residence in the house.

Astrea was a bit on the ditzy side. Her brown hair was pulled into a ponytail while a light blue hat covered the rest of her head. Her tunic top and pants were a royal blue. She also wore a gold-chained necklace that was scattered with little light pink gems and a pair of matching earrings; she never missed an opportunity to say how good her husband was to her.

Ganymede was the more down to earth one in the relationship. He also has a certain mystic about him that tended to draw the attention of the women around him. A gentleman at heart he tries his best to keep Astrea happy.

Luckily for him that isn't very hard. He also had his long hair pulled back into a ponytail except his was jet black. He wore a deep navy blue dress shirt that was tucked into his black pants. His eyes were what most would call a stormy color, a unique mix of blue and gray.

Astrea stared at her husband. With crossed arms and a confused tilt of her head she said, "I still don't get it."

Ganymede sighed as he tried to explain the game to her once more. As he spoke he changed his hand into the shape he was talking about. "It's not that complicated. Rock beats scissors. Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock."

She rolled her eyes. "I know that but why does paper win over rock? A rock would crush paper."

"If you put a rock on a piece of paper and then lift it by the corners does it tear?" Ganymede decided it would be best is he used an example.

"No… But it you see a piece of paper falling and you throw a rock at it the paper doesn't stand a chance." His wife replied.

There was a stunned silence throughout the room.

Seriously how do you argue that logic?

Regulus patted her on the shoulder. "You know what? You're absolute right. From now on rock will beat paper and paper will never win. He will always be a loser."

"Well I wouldn't want paper to feel like a loser…" Astrea replied in a sad tone.

The blond smiled. "Then we'll continue to have paper beat rock." He leaned down and whispered. "Just don't tell paper. We wouldn't want him to feel bad."

She nodded fiercely and made the motion of zipping her mouth and throwing away the key.

That's when the phone rang and all hell broke loose.

"I'll get it!"

"I bet it's for me!"

"Out of my way!"

You see the downside to living with people trying to make it to the big time is that they're always hoping for their big brake. So whenever the telephone rings everybody's hoping it's his or her agent with good news.

"Hello, Five Points Boarding House this is Lili speaking how may I help you?" Lili managed to get to the phone with minimal damage. "Yes he's here. One moment please."

She put her hand over the receiver. "Hey, Regulus! It's for you!"

"I knew it!" The young man pushed his way to the phone. "This is, Regulus."

-Person on the other end yells-

"Oh it's you again. I told you that I wasn't going to pay to fix you car so bug off already!"

-More yelling-

"It was not my fault! You were driving too slow! You deserved having your trunk smashed in!"

-Indistinctive curses-

"For your information I know exactly who my father is!"

-Still yelling-

"Yeah? Well, same to you shmuk! Do the world a favor and go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge! In fact, I'll give a push to get you going!"

-Getting louder-

"I'm sorry the dial you have numbered has been disconnected. Please dial the correct number and leave me the hell alone!" Regulus had started out calm and ended screaming. When he hung up everyone thought it best that they not know.

**-End of Chapter Notes-**

Astrea/Libra: Married to Ganymede and resident

Ganymede/Aquarius: Married to Astrea and resident


End file.
